At this moment. In my living room. Laptop on my lap. Perfect cool air. Perfect lighting. Perfect ambience (jazz songs in the background). I am in the mood to blog.
But I have absolutely no idea what I am going to write.
Well, let’s see.
I got my final results about 2 weeks ago. I was nervous as hell. Almost forgot where I put my important papers in order to log into the system.
Found it. Type. ERROR!
Cold sweat on my forehead.
Tried again.
Logged in. Result staring straight at me. Caught me off guard as I thought I had at least a second to prepare myself.
Passed all. Relieved.
In fact, I was so relieved that I thought ”Bring it ON, baby!” I could conquer everything!
Went to websites searching for jobs. More motivated as ever.
Forward 2 weeks later. I’m still at home. Typing this while others are working.
End.
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This doesn’t seem right, isn’t it?
As pessimistic as I sound in the above paragraphs. I am feeling alright.
But I won’t say cosy. In fact, I’m not.
It does gets to you when you know that you should be working after graduation. I mean, come on already. It has been what? 3 months?
I do feeling guilty and little worthless at this stage.
You have to be. You should be.
But I have to admit. On the scale of 1 to 10, 10 being feeling the worst. I’m on the scale of, say, 6?
4/10 of me is feeling pretty good now.
I mean, who gets to go shopping with friends and family at 3 in the afternoon? Not you. You are working.
Who got to spend their whole afternoon at a cafe laughing their ass off with their friends? Nope. Not you either. You are probably in a meeting.
So you see, Being jobless does have its up and down.
Remember I mentioned about guilty?
I’m feeling it. Why? Because I shouldn’t be enjoying myself at this time. Or at least not as much as I do. But I am.
So that’s it. I confess.
Being jobless sucks. But a part of me is still unwilling to let go of the little freedom and pleasures in life which I might not ever enjoy again once I started work.
Now, be honest with me. Am I plain lazy or what? Go on, say it.
